Tennis Man

Category: Wimbledon

  • The Diary of Lady Mary of Wimbledon

    Chapter 5: When Mary met Renshaw the “Chihuahua”

    John “Heart Man” Hartley, finally met his match in 1881, when William Renshaw stepped onto Wimbledon’s tennis court. As the son of James, a flax spinner textile worker, he was determined to exploit Wimbledon to make a career from glamorous luxury clothing that could be associated with high society and athletic skill.

    My aggressive Renshaw chihuahua, with his superdog ability to rush across the court, combined with his take over the world strategic tendency, which was hard wired into the architectural plans of his soul, encouraged the victory favours the prepared instinct that was pumping through his manly body with industrial strength.

    William brought true dog fierceness to the traditionally sissy sport, as described by former 1878 Wimbledon champion Patrick Francis “The Mentalist” Hadow.

    The “Renshaw Rush” effect had penetrated my hypersexuality in the most potent advanced fighter jet prototype thrusting way fathomable, that my low level intelligence clearance had to accept the fate of my temptress temple of femininity, and pounce on him, with the power of the yet to be discovered Goliath Bird Eating Tarantula. It only took me 5 minutes to get my hands onto his long strong wooden cricket bat, and that’s the story of how I conceived my second child.

  • The Diary of Lady Wimbledon

    Chapter 4: When Mary met Intel Powered VW Beetle Herbie Lawford

    Heart Man was back on the court in 1880, up against Herbert Lawford, which went down in history as the tennis equivalent of the Battle of Salamis (480 BC), famous for depicting the smaller Greek force defeating the much larger Persian force.

    It was my much smaller Wolfsburg stockbroker macho moustache wearing human asset lover, Herbie, the ‘Greek-German’ of English heritage, that impressed my excruciatingly feminine over-qualified yet highly trained in the arts of subtle Mexican etiquette, sense of desire, the most.

    John Hartley the Persian may have won the Wimbledon Championships in 1880, but Herbie won my national Swiss cheese caseus helveticus award, reserved only for the most desirable of Fievel Goes West hunky mice strongest man contestants.

    Herbie’s Lawford forehand produced so much rotational topspin, that I fantasised about so many what ifs, that there was no hesitation in my mind… After Hartley gave my Herbie number 53 a good thrashing, I congratulated Heart Man, and then took Lawford by the hand, and expressed in the most physically symbolic way conceivably imaginable, how being number 2, can sometimes mean being the boss in the bed chamber of Lady Wimbledon’s Rose & Crown pub, conveniently located very near Marryat Road, the easiest route to take if you want to get to The All England Lawn Tennis Club from Wimbledon Village. It has a great view of London’s skyline too, as you descend Marryat’s hill.

  • Black Female American Power!

    US player Serena Williams celebrates winning the first set against Germany’s Angelique Kerber during the women’s singles final on the thirteenth day of the 2016 Wimbledon Championships at The All England Lawn Tennis Club in Wimbledon, southwest London, on 9 July 2016. / AFP PHOTO / JUSTIN TALLIS / RESTRICTED TO EDITORIAL USE

    Widely regarded as one of the greatest tennis players of all time. Here’s a breakdown of her key accomplishments:

    • Tennis Legend:
      • She revolutionised women’s tennis with her powerful style of play.
      • She holds 23 Grand Slam singles titles, the most by any woman in the Open Era.
      • She has also achieved significant success in doubles, often playing alongside her sister Venus Williams.
    • Accomplishments:
      • She has won multiple Olympic gold medals in both singles and doubles.
      • She has had a long and dominant career, showcasing incredible athleticism and resilience.
    • Beyond Tennis:
      • She is also known for her impact on fashion, her business ventures, and her advocacy for various social causes.
      • She is now a mother of two children.
    • She has also been a very influential figure for many people, and helped to bring a new level of athleticism to women’s tennis.

    In essence, Serena Williams is a sporting icon who has left an indelible mark on the world of tennis and beyond.

  • The Diary of Lady Mary of Wimbledon

    Chapter 3: When Mary met Viking Warlord John Hartley, a Serialised Tennis Novel

    John Hartley, a member of the Yorkist White Rose glass-making militia of the Viking county of Yorkshire, stepped onto the Wimbledon tennis court, to face opponent, V. S. Leger Goold, a typical Romeo & Juliet Irish stereotype, destined to fulfil the prophecy of a tragic Shakespeare Monte Carlo life script.

    I took one look at Hartley, and a Scandinavian clergyman rush of Church of England Temple at Uppsala, took over all my senses and I immediately knew that he was the reincarnation of Thor, the muscular thunderous Berserker of my Viking-Casanova hybrid fantasy. I had always wanted a man to dominate me, and my fellow Wimbledon villagers, just weren’t up to the job.

    My Viking Mesoamerican Mayan Heart Man, Sir John Hartley, was in my line of sight. The 1,100 spectators made me well aware that other women might want him for themselves, so I made certain he’d be mine as soon as he left the court. I seduced him with my look of love and blood red lips. He responded by holding my gaze. I approached the head of the Scandinavian priesthood, and told him to impress me with the longship, he had anchored in Chelsea Basin (harbour in London). He was up to the challenge. He didn’t disappoint.

  • The Perfect Tennis Ball

    A great tennis ball is a product of carefully balanced characteristics, designed to provide consistent performance. Here’s a breakdown of the key factors:

    1. Core Composition:

    • Rubber Quality:
      • The core, typically made of natural or synthetic rubber, determines the ball’s bounce. High-quality rubber provides a consistent and lively bounce.  
      • The way the rubber is processed, and the consistency of that process is a huge factor in quality.
    • Pressurisation:
      • Pressurised balls contain air under pressure, contributing to their bounce. This pressure must be consistent and maintained.
      • Pressureless balls use a thicker rubber core to create the bounce. These balls last longer, but feel different to play with.

    2. Felt Covering:

    • Material:
      • The felt, a blend of wool and synthetic fibres, affects the ball’s durability, feel, and interaction with the court.
      • A higher percentage of natural wool often indicates a premium ball.
    • Weave and Thickness:
      • The weave and thickness of the felt influence the ball’s speed, spin, and durability.
      • “Extra duty” balls have thicker felt for hard courts, while “regular duty” balls are designed for softer courts.

    3. Performance Characteristics:

    • Bounce Consistency:
      • A great ball maintains a consistent bounce height, allowing players to predict its trajectory.
    • Durability:
      • The ball should withstand repeated impacts without losing its shape, pressure, or felt covering.
    • Visibility:
      • The bright yellow colour, known as “optic yellow,” ensures high visibility on the court.
    • Spin Response:
      • The felt should allow players to impart spin on the ball and for the ball to react consistently to that spin.
    • Consistent flight:
      • The ball should fly through the air with a predictable and consistent trajectory.

    4. Court Surface Considerations:

    • Hard Courts:
      • Require balls with durable felt to withstand the abrasive surface.
    • Clay Courts:
      • Benefit from balls with less felt, as clay can accumulate on the surface.
    • Grass Courts:
      • Favour balls with a felt that grips the slick surface.

    In essence, a great tennis ball is a product of precise engineering and high-quality materials, designed to deliver consistent and reliable performance for players of all levels.

  • The Diary of Lady Mary of Wimbledon

    Chapter 2: When Mary met Mentalist P. F. Hadow, a Serialised Tennis Novel

    Patrick, The Mentalist, as I liked to call him, due to his unique magical, mind-reading, telepathic, precog, psychic, fortune telling ability, was a mesmerising experience. It’s no wonder that he beat my one time animal lover, Spencer Gore. The one and only match, the “challenge round” as Spencer called it, was where my rugged Harrow School boy Patrick proved his gladiatorial masculinity in the ring. Spencer’s volleying style didn’t have a chance against my mentalist’s exotic Sri Lankan, Sinhalese, Tamil, Ceylonese, bright red juicy lobster technique, sending his balls high into the sky. I loved it when after giving Spencer a good thrashing, he walked up to him, in the most confrontational way imaginable, and whispered into his left ear “You’re such a soft sissy… Go back to your woman, and tell her I’m available to satisfy her quench for a real man’s masculine squeeze.” That was my cue to approach Patrick. I grabbed his hand, and dragged him to the Dog and Fox pub on 24 High Street in Wimbledon Village, where I got as high as possible on cat sized aphrodisiac oysters, before I put my deep ocean drenched tongue into his ear, and cleaned his wax filled love tunnel. I continued to pleasure my man of all men in the same vain, day and night, with no break, 24/7, until he decided for some bizarre reason, to return to his full time work in Ceylon (Sri Lanka), as a Ceylon black tea plantation marshal. I told him I’d finance a luxury Wimbledon lifestyle for him through my embarrassingly large trust fund, but he was adamant that his 6 children in Kotte needed their father to teach them in the ways of Eastern business. Of course, I can take a hint, and so I agreed to accept his line, and my eyes moved on and began to scan south west London with ultra high definition falcon vision, searching for a man that would be able to keep my insatiable maternal instinct as filled as possible.

  • Hotel du Vin & Bistro Wimbledon

    Located at Cannizaro House, West Side Common, London SW19 4UE, UK. It is a modern hotel in a grand mansion overlooking its own parkland with British and Mediterranean dining.

  • I Need a Place Near the Wimbledon Tennis

    While finding the most expensive apartment currently listed in Wimbledon requires checking the very latest real estate listings, some strong contenders and factors that influence high prices in the area include:

    Factors that make Wimbledon apartments expensive:

    • Location: Proximity to the All England Lawn Tennis Club (where the Wimbledon Championships are held), Wimbledon Village, and good transport links (like the Tube and train) drive up prices.
    • Views: Apartments with views of the tennis grounds, Wimbledon Common, or the London skyline command higher prices.
    • Size and Features: Large apartments with multiple bedrooms, luxurious finishes, private balconies or terraces, and amenities like parking or concierge services are more expensive.
    • Exclusivity: Apartments in gated developments or prestigious buildings tend to be pricier.

    Where to look for expensive apartments:

    • Wimbledon Village: This area has a mix of period properties and modern developments, often with high price tags.
    • Parkside: This area near Wimbledon Common is known for large, detached houses, but some apartments here are also very expensive.
    • Southside Common: This area also has some exclusive properties with large gardens and a secluded feel.

    To find the most expensive apartment currently on the market, you can also check these resources:

    • Local estate agents: Contacting estate agents in Wimbledon, such as Robert Holmes & Co, Savills, or Knight Frank, will give you access to the latest listings.
    • Property websites: Websites like Rightmove, Zoopla, and OnTheMarket often have listings for high-end properties.
    • Luxury property websites: Websites specialising in luxury real estate may have listings for the most expensive apartments in Wimbledon.

    Keep in mind: The real estate market is constantly changing, so the most expensive apartment today might not be the most expensive tomorrow.

  • Rolex (founded 1905)

    Sponsoring the Wimbledon Championships for a very long time!

    They became the Official Timekeeper of the tournament in 1978.

    That means they’ve been a sponsor for almost 50 years! It’s a very enduring partnership, and it’s one of the most recognisable sponsorships in the world of sports.

    It was started in London by Hans Wilsdorf and his brother-in-law Alfred Davis. Initially, the company focused on importing Swiss movements and placing them in cases made in England.

    It wasn’t until 1908 that the name “Rolex” was registered as a trademark, and the company eventually moved its operations to Geneva, Switzerland.

  • Wimbledon (2004 film)

    Romantic comedy film that’s set against the backdrop of the famous Wimbledon tennis tournament. It stars Kirsten Dunst and Paul Bettany.

    Here’s a quick summary of the movie:

    • Plot: Peter Colt (Bettany) is a British tennis player whose career is on the decline. He gets a wildcard entry into Wimbledon, possibly his last chance to shine. There, he meets Lizzie Bradbury (Dunst), a rising American tennis star. Their romance blossoms amidst the pressure of the tournament, and Peter finds renewed motivation both on and off the court.
    • Themes: The movie explores themes of love, ambition, second chances, and the pressures of professional sports.
    • Reception: “Wimbledon” received mixed reviews, with some critics finding it a predictable rom-com, while others praised the chemistry between the leads and the charming portrayal of the tennis world. It was a moderate success at the box office.

    Why it’s worth a watch:

    • Charming leads: Dunst and Bettany have great chemistry, making their romance believable and engaging.
    • Tennis setting: The movie offers a glimpse into the world of professional tennis, with some scenes filmed during the actual Wimbledon tournament.
    • Feel-good movie: If you’re looking for a light-hearted and entertaining romantic comedy, “Wimbledon” fits the bill.

    If you’re a fan of romantic comedies or tennis, “Wimbledon” might be an enjoyable movie to check out.